Mainly Void Thoughts

How many people do you think have been in a trance state, ever, in their lives? How many do you think understand they have been?

Perhaps, before answering that question, we should look at what a “trance state” really is and how you can identify it.

According to Milton H. Erickson “trance is the state in which learning and openness to change are most likely to occur.” (Quote from: My Voice Will Go With You – The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson).

From the same book: “Trance, in fact, is a natural state experienced by everyone. Our most familiar experience takes place when we daydream, but other trance states can occur when we meditate, pray, or perform exercise – such as jogging, which has sometimes been called ‘meditation in motion’.”

Have you ever been in a meeting or at a lecture (for example) where the topic has been so interesting that you were so focused on the speaker that everything else around you seemed to simply blend into the background, almost disappearing? Have you ever seen a movie or a video where you had that same reaction? Listened to music and the world just vanishes as you drift off into the song? Driving home, getting there safely, but not remembering anything about the drive?

If you’re training Martial Arts, you’ll recognize similar experiences from training with a partner, sparring or if you compete, being in the ring. Eyesight focus on your opponent, while anything surrounding blends into the background, unless it can become a threat (or an aid), which can then bring that piece into your awareness. Sounds fade as well, unless they signal danger or anything else relevant.

If you can enter this state as well during a training class, you’re likely to find that you’re picking up things you never thought of, or even believed possible. In other words, your mind is more open to learning and absorbing new things.

Meditation or self-hypnosis can aid you in more easily enter such a state as well. Not to mention, it’s a great way to relax your head before you go to bed.

I find it very interesting to see people entering this state, during training or elsewhere. The only reason I have put in the context here of training is that I see this happening, both to myself and others, during training. However, it is beneficial to ones training, so it felt appropriate.

Now, have you experienced this during your training, in class, in school, at work? I would be highly surprised if you can honestly answer this question with a “No, never” …

Everything has (at least) two sides to it. A coin, a piece of paper, a vehicle, all have a front and a back (and at least one side!). Life and death are opposites, yet still interconnected, becoming one. War wouldn’t exist without peace, nor would peace exist without war. Fear wouldn’t exist without calmness and security, nor would calmness or security exist without fear.

How one wishes to perceive these things are usually in their own separate incarnations. Which is completely and utterly wrong in my mind. One side feeds the other while it is diminishing in size. These “opposite” sides can take on a life of their own in a sense, growing, shrinking as they pulsate. Though, one cannot survive without the other. Neither can exist in a vacuum. Consider the symbol of Yin and Yang. Each side is utterly dependant on the other. Without one, the other also perishes. Such is life and such is death, because what would death be without life? A vacuum? No even less, as vacuum is something that can be defined and quantified.

A door has two sides to it as well, showing two completely opposite areas on either side, opening into different parts of different spaces. As it swings, that space changes, hinting at something different than where you are. One has to walk through that opening to see what the other side holds, at the same time leaving behind what is on (what is now) the other side. Passing from life to death is exactly the same thing. Passing from Yin to Yang is yet again the same. All symbolic of a complete transition from one state (of being) to another.

New experiences in ones life can be just as dramatically changing. Sometimes it just takes something small, perhaps just a little thought. Sometimes more extreme things are needed to understand that things have changed without you being aware (not that you didn’t see them, you didn’t look for them or understand them).

In the same fold, the theory of relativity also falls. Everything is relative. Even relativity. Consider something as absolute as time. Even time is relative. How it is perceived. “What time is it?”, “How long did that take?”, “Only five minutes!”, “Felt like two hours!” and so on. There is nothing that isn’t relative to something else. There is nothing that doesn’t have two sides to it.

Love & hate. Rage & serenity. Male & female. Horizontal & vertical. Forward & backwards. Omote & ura.

Everything has two sides, at least. Some have 8. Some have infinite. You just have to find them.

This may be something most will have problems following along with, but it makes perfect sense to me anyway. It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot of recently and received a few lessons in recently. What I’m talking about here is a concept or principle if you may.

With “Letting go” I don’t mean “dropping like a hot plate”. Letting go as a principle has many uses. Most people would think of it in terms of someone close dying and they carry a grief with them, that they eventually need to let go of. This is exactly true, but you can also use the same principle in other areas.

You can let go of:

as a few examples. If you wish, you can split those up into external and internal as well, up to yourself really. First three are internal and the last three are external, of course. Or are they?

As a principle, it is very powerful. All you really have to do is to “let go” of a fear you have? Yes, really. By insistently “hanging on” to it, all you do is feed it. Let it go and feel it shrink and disappear.

Letting go of someone else, well, you hang on they may not like it. If one looks at it from a Martial Arts or fighting perspective, you hang on to someone, they’ll respond by thrashing you more than likely. Same applies if you hang on to someone who wants their own space and their own freedom. Be sure that they will respond by pushing you away. If it is someone you love and cherish, you should step back a bit…

What becomes interesting here is the results of this principle, depending on how you have executed on it. You can harshly let something go, in a fight you may “let someone go” while they get a farewell punch, or you can be gentle and loving while letting go…

You “let go” of someone you love, to allow them space to breathe for themselves, if you have executed well, they’ll return. Such an exercise may even deepen the connection between you. At the same time, if the one you love is no longer going to be there, then “letting go” is of your grief, and ultimately your love, for that person. It all depends on your situation which it is.

On the other hand, in a fight situation, you really do not want them to return, do you? (Unless you really like to hit people I suppose!) Letting go of them harshly then shows them they should probably just stand up, turn around and walk away.

It’s a concept, a principle. It has many uses.

It’s a principle I recently picked up or rather, realised it existed even. By no means have I perfected or even fully understood it. However, it goes hand in hand quite well with space (see previous post) and similar concepts/principles. If you still do not understand what I am talking about here, you can really only realise what I mean by actually trying it. Just remember, every coin has two sides to it. It will become what you make it to be.

Having your own space is important. Having something just for yourself is definitely something we all should have. It doesn’t have to be something you can hold or touch. It can be anything you want it to be. Something I do cherish is to just have my own “head space”. Time dedicated just for my self and my own thoughts. I find that it is something I require to have. It’s not optional for me, I just have way too much happening around me that I feel I want to think about. Not necessarily even conscious thought.

Spending even just a few moments on quiet contemplation, or drifting away while reading a book or listening to music are moments I cherish, as they are spontaneous. Anything may pop up in the back of my head as I drift away from reality.

However, this is not the only kind of “space” I need. I also like to be completely and utterly alone at home sometimes. Might not even be at home! Could just be a walk somewhere. Especially enjoy walking into a thick forest and just listen to what is happening around me. Enjoying all the sensations one get when you’re in a deep forest all alone. It is a liberating experience. Some people love a walk along the sea, I love the trees and the wildlife that inhabits it

If you’re in a relationship, you also need “space” from the spouse, kids, etc. Seriously, getting a bit of time for yourself is great. Not only can you focus on yourself for a while, it also makes everyone realise what is so important about the others in a family or relationship. Just because your with someone doesn’t mean you have to spend every wake (or asleep!) moment with your counterpart!

Being apart also creates space for time to spend together and enjoying that time even more! Being apart can be a great way to be together!

Just because you miss someone, that doesn’t have to mean you must see them right away. Leaving it for a while means seeing the one you want to be with that little bit sweeter. It also allows you to be free on your own, on your terms.

It also means that when you are together, both does things for each other. But things they want to do for the other part. Not doing things because they are asked for, or expected, but because one wants to do something for the other. What that thing is, well, that is a different matter. It can be anything, from just going to dinner in your partners favourite restaurant, taking them out to a venue to see something together, or anything else you may want to give your partner or family member.

But taking that space is the crucial part here. It allows you to separate yourselves from each other, while at the same time building on that special thing shared between you. One might say this goes back to my topic on duality. All things are connected somehow, some way. When you get that space for yourself, you have a much better chance to figure out what exactly is connecting you to those you love and hold dear.

So, do take your space. Take some time for yourself. Enjoy it, just for you. Allow yourself that freedom. It is a freedom that is exceptional and valuable. If you haven’t done this yet, give it a try! Be without your significant other for a week and see how you get on. Did it go well? What did you learn about yourself and what did you figure out about those you cherish? Does it change anything for you? Have you found more things you value? How do you value them? What is good and what is bad? Are you getting the things out of life that you truly want? If not, what can you do about getting closer to that goal?

So many questions that only you can answer for yourself does require this space.

Then, when you have had your space, you can so much better share that space with those you want to share it with. Understanding so much better what you wish to gain from it, and what you are willing to sacrifice of yourself. Yes, sacrifice of yourself. Every relationship holds an amount of self-sacrifice. Most people call it “compromise”. A compromise always holds a certain amount of sacrifice, from both sides.

So, get that space for you. It is a great way to open new doors to new experiences in your life. It is also a great way to close doors that need to be closed. In your own space, you can also let go of things that hold you back, drag you down or even imprison you. Get that space and experience that freedom.

Wow, what a roller coaster ride the last few months have been. Never the less, if I look to the future it appears I shall be no less busy and having not much less change in the near term. Lots of things happening, some divulged already, some still to be noted and then some that just don’t belong here (or anywhere public for that matter) …

Looking towards holding a presentation on Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis for a set of therapists, which will be really fun to do. Quite different to what I’ve done before, so will be an interesting challenge.

My Martial Arts training is moving along with seminars coming up as well as progressing along with my own training. Lots of interesting things coming up there too! Always something to improve upon and figure out. Always new things to discover and there’s always one more mind blowing experience to grab on to with both hands.

Getting the house in order also feels really good. Unbelievable how empty it felt those few weeks ago. Now? Not at all! Now I’ve made it mine and I continue to change things here and there, fixing this and fixing that. Feels really good at this stage. Always something to improve there too!

At the moment I’m saving up for a trip back to Sweden. If I can afford it there’s also a wedding coming up in August in Poland which I’d love to attend. (Hey there Mac and Liz!) Would be great to see my family back home right now and experience that hot burning sun back home.

If I can scrape together the money I need, I would most definitely go to Tokyo for a week as well. That would be a real highlight of the year. Not that there hasn’t been a number of highlights already, but that one would be fairly big for me anyway.

I will also be writing and helping to moderate things on a website that is about to launch. Where does all my time go? I keep way too busy, but I do enjoy it. There will be mentions here once things gets closer to the launch of that as well!

There’s more news as well, but hey, those who wait for something good never wait too long!

In other words, keeping going! Upwards and onwards folks!

Today, I’ve spent the day sorting out the en-suite shower. A tiny settlement crack snuck in between a couple of tiles, so it needed looking after a bit. At the moment, re-tiling the whole thing for a tiny crack seemed, excessive. Might get a few more of those cracks over the next couple of years as it is, as the house isn’t that old just yet.

So, I decided to chuck some silicone over it, being the lazy git I can be sometimes. While I was at the thing, I figured, why not replace some of that older silicone too? There had previously been leaks in the shower and various bits of work had been done to get it sorted. In the end, giving up on the builders (after 4 times having them in, re-tiling, re-grouting, whatever) I had simply grabbed silicone then too. Tube had claimed “White” and instead come out a shitty looking yellow. So, half the shower looked like a men’s toilet in a pub.

Right. Grabbed a knife and started carving the old silicone off, careful not to damage any tiles along the way. Took me bloody hours. However, at the same time, it gave me some space to think over things.

Amazing how ones life can be just like that. Sitting in a corner of the house, carving away old cruft you no longer want or need. Going through things in my head, I was doing the same thing in my mind as I was doing with my hands. Carving out something, looking it over. Figuring out, do I want this thing? Is this useful for me? Does it help me in any way? Ouch that hurt!

As I worked along, forgetting about time completely as one does when engrossed in something, I did also reflect on quite a few things.

Anytime I got upset or angry over some thought that came to mind, I put the emotions it stirred to the side and asked myself, “Why does this upset me so much? Is this something I should keep or something I should discard or something I need to review again later on?”

If I came across something that made me smile, or made me feel happy, I filed it away carefully, making sure I can keep that memory, that emotion, that feeling.

At the end of it all, I was exhausted. Mentally that is, the physical strain isn’t high when doing this kind of physical work. But the mental work was quite draining. Then again, it was also quite fulfilling, letting me understand a few things about where I am right now, and how I got here. More importantly, it’s helped me figure out where I’m going, why and what I want from it.

Then, I put some new silicone over the holes (in the shower, no holes in my head, thanks!) and all of a sudden I realised, it’s now almost 8PM. I’ve been at this for most of the day, being careful to remove as much crufty silicone I could, to replace with some good silicone.

Rewarding, yes. Exhausting though.

I’ve been thinking about this recently, as I’ve been seeing more and more things having what I can only describe as a “dual nature”, or “duality”, aspect to them. Something with a “dual nature” in this case is something which is also totally opposites to each other, but without becoming an oxymoron. Let me try to explain the differences here first…

And oxymoron is something where you have to things completely contradicting each other, to the point where they also exclude each other. When I speak of something having “duality” or “dual nature” it also contains these contradicting terms (or so one thinks initially) but they are not excluding each other. In actual fact, they are so far apart and contradicting to each other, they cannot exist without one another. That in itself is an excellent description of this aspect of “duality”.

Let me give you a few examples:

Light cannot exist without darkness, and vice versa! How do you know day light has arrived, if you are not able to see the darkness of the night? Consider someone who was born completely blind for example. Such a person wouldn’t know what daylight is, in itself. Yes, he or she may notice the sun touching on their skin, but what if it is a very cloudy day, the blinds are down, or they are in a room without windows?

Silence cannot exist without sound either, nor can sound exist without silence.

“Good” cannot exist without “evil”. What is good and what is evil?

Peace cannot exist without war.

Life cannot exist without death and death would never exist without life.

A straight road doesn’t just lead forwards, but also backwards. Same as a bend in the road goes both to the right and to the left at the same time. “Whatever goes up, must also come back down.”

So, what use is this duality thing then? Why, where and how can this be useful to understand? Lots of places, situations, thoughts and considerations one encounters in life, is my answer. Very deep, is it? Perhaps, perhaps not. Where it is helping me is when I learn something new. What is said? What is not said?

I find it very interesting when I see people berating each other on the Internet. It’s something that happens not just daily, but constantly, thanks to the “anonymity” and distance people believe they have between themselves and others. They get so tied into this one aspect they are arguing over, they completely miss any valid and possibly important points their “enemy” may present. Instead, I’m trying to add what I’ve recently posted about, while keeping an open mind to what is said, trying to not be judgemental about any statements made. Here is another place where this idea of “duality” may also fit in, as one can use it to be objective and “see the other side of the coin”. For instance, if there’s an argument over something, let people take their own idea, spin it around 180 degrees and have them look at things again. What will show up then? Will a solution to whatever problem being “discussed” suddenly appear? Will it make it easier for each party to take another step towards a good and achievable goal, or will they simply refuse and sit and pout like a 5 year old not getting their candy?

This thing of a “dual nature” can be quite useful, if you try to apply it. Don’t think about it too much, rather just flip things around and see what you find. I can guarantee you, you will be surprised sometimes.

There’s always two points of view, at least. Very much like everything is relative, even relativity as well as something as absolute as time.

If you’ve kept up with me on FarceBook recently, you’ve probably noticed I’ve started my training again. It feels absolutely amazing being back on the mats again.

Sure, I ache everywhere, every day. Still, the more I train the more I am realising I need to train. Not just for getting fit or even for learning a Martial Art. Getting fit is always a good thing. Learning a Martial Art is probably one of the best decisions I’ve taken in life. But there’s so many other things I am learning along the way too.

However, none of them defines this need, this craving for more. Some might even call it ab obsession, though I’m not sure if qualifies. I’d almost call it an addiction. It might actually fit a medical definition of addiction!

How many people do you know that train regularly? Ask those how they feel when they simply can’t get back to their routine and train as normal. More than likely they’ll tell you they feel like they don’t have the energy they used to. They don’t feel good and happy, because they can’t get their fix.

Personally, I get agitated if I can’t train for a while. All those endorphins, that adrenaline pumping through your body. But not just that rush, but also the peaceful state you can find yourself in, right when it is very hectic around you, you can just zone out. Some would describe training hard as the best meditation they’ve ever experienced. In what I train you’ll have a fist flying towards your face, so how can one relax completely and utterly when someone is trying to hit you?

I’m finding out some things I just find utterly amazing, during the most odd times. Thing is, I just love finding those things. I love that rush and I love the calmness, the utter peace, that comes with it.

Damn it, I’ve become a training junkie.

Excellent, the new website for the Break Free Hypnosis clinic is up and running! For those of you who haven’t yet seen it, head on over to http://breakfree.ie and do let me know if you think there’s is anything you feel is missing, could be done better or anything else you can think of.

The initial response has been truly amazing and I am somewhat humbled by the experience. It does give me great hopes for the future, not just the reception from all of you, but also getting a few client bookings within the first 24 hours of opening, one treated within that time period!

It seems like this year not only has some great new beginnings on offer, but also lots of other fun and interesting things.

//anders

Great movie, if you still haven’t seen it. I had one or two things I got out of it. In particular a couple of lines from a poem Nelson Mandela quoted.

I am the master of my fate.
I am the captor of my soul.

A particular emphasis on “I” should be noted here. It might even be called “defiance” considering he spent 27 years in jail. Considering what he managed to achieve with the country and the people contained within its borders one shouldn’t forget all the hard feelings between blacks and whites. Managing to forgive ones captors after such a long time in captivity, I can’t start to imagine how he managed it. How do you forgive those who essentially took half your life away from you? How do you forgive someone who has beaten you with a stick, just for the colour of your skin?

Consider yourself in this situation, sitting in a cell barely big enough for you to spread your arms out. You have a blanket as your mattress on the concrete floor, a pillow and a chair. This is your home, for a very long time. Nothing you have is yours. You have no family. You have no future. What you can look forward to is a soggy meal and breaking up rocks, while your feet are in chains and the sun unrelentingly beating down on your back. Day in, day out. Week in, week out. Month in Month out. Year in, year out. Years on end. How would you cope? Would you feel that life is hopeless? I don’t think the word “possibly” even should be considered here, as I can guarantee you, that is how you will feel. Anger is pointless as it will only attract a beating, from other inmates or from the wardens.

Then read the above quote again.

There’s a lot of meaning hidden in those two sentences. Would you be able to be so benevolent to those who took everything away from you, and I truly mean everything. Even the food you eat, being allowed a drink of water, basic needs like going to the toilet. At the mercy of someone else. Someone who might beat you with a baton, just because you tried to ask for something you today take for granted.

Read the above quote again.

In the movie, the second sentence has one word changed, probably to underline Nelson Mandela was a captive for so long. In the original, it says “captain” and not “captor”.

Here’s the original text of that poem:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Everyday, be the master of your fate, be the captain of your soul, then you can conquer any obstacle in your life.