Mainly Void Thoughts

How many people do you think have been in a trance state, ever, in their lives? How many do you think understand they have been?

Perhaps, before answering that question, we should look at what a “trance state” really is and how you can identify it.

According to Milton H. Erickson “trance is the state in which learning and openness to change are most likely to occur.” (Quote from: My Voice Will Go With You – The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson).

From the same book: “Trance, in fact, is a natural state experienced by everyone. Our most familiar experience takes place when we daydream, but other trance states can occur when we meditate, pray, or perform exercise – such as jogging, which has sometimes been called ‘meditation in motion’.”

Have you ever been in a meeting or at a lecture (for example) where the topic has been so interesting that you were so focused on the speaker that everything else around you seemed to simply blend into the background, almost disappearing? Have you ever seen a movie or a video where you had that same reaction? Listened to music and the world just vanishes as you drift off into the song? Driving home, getting there safely, but not remembering anything about the drive?

If you’re training Martial Arts, you’ll recognize similar experiences from training with a partner, sparring or if you compete, being in the ring. Eyesight focus on your opponent, while anything surrounding blends into the background, unless it can become a threat (or an aid), which can then bring that piece into your awareness. Sounds fade as well, unless they signal danger or anything else relevant.

If you can enter this state as well during a training class, you’re likely to find that you’re picking up things you never thought of, or even believed possible. In other words, your mind is more open to learning and absorbing new things.

Meditation or self-hypnosis can aid you in more easily enter such a state as well. Not to mention, it’s a great way to relax your head before you go to bed.

I find it very interesting to see people entering this state, during training or elsewhere. The only reason I have put in the context here of training is that I see this happening, both to myself and others, during training. However, it is beneficial to ones training, so it felt appropriate.

Now, have you experienced this during your training, in class, in school, at work? I would be highly surprised if you can honestly answer this question with a “No, never” …

This may be something most will have problems following along with, but it makes perfect sense to me anyway. It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot of recently and received a few lessons in recently. What I’m talking about here is a concept or principle if you may.

With “Letting go” I don’t mean “dropping like a hot plate”. Letting go as a principle has many uses. Most people would think of it in terms of someone close dying and they carry a grief with them, that they eventually need to let go of. This is exactly true, but you can also use the same principle in other areas.

You can let go of:

as a few examples. If you wish, you can split those up into external and internal as well, up to yourself really. First three are internal and the last three are external, of course. Or are they?

As a principle, it is very powerful. All you really have to do is to “let go” of a fear you have? Yes, really. By insistently “hanging on” to it, all you do is feed it. Let it go and feel it shrink and disappear.

Letting go of someone else, well, you hang on they may not like it. If one looks at it from a Martial Arts or fighting perspective, you hang on to someone, they’ll respond by thrashing you more than likely. Same applies if you hang on to someone who wants their own space and their own freedom. Be sure that they will respond by pushing you away. If it is someone you love and cherish, you should step back a bit…

What becomes interesting here is the results of this principle, depending on how you have executed on it. You can harshly let something go, in a fight you may “let someone go” while they get a farewell punch, or you can be gentle and loving while letting go…

You “let go” of someone you love, to allow them space to breathe for themselves, if you have executed well, they’ll return. Such an exercise may even deepen the connection between you. At the same time, if the one you love is no longer going to be there, then “letting go” is of your grief, and ultimately your love, for that person. It all depends on your situation which it is.

On the other hand, in a fight situation, you really do not want them to return, do you? (Unless you really like to hit people I suppose!) Letting go of them harshly then shows them they should probably just stand up, turn around and walk away.

It’s a concept, a principle. It has many uses.

It’s a principle I recently picked up or rather, realised it existed even. By no means have I perfected or even fully understood it. However, it goes hand in hand quite well with space (see previous post) and similar concepts/principles. If you still do not understand what I am talking about here, you can really only realise what I mean by actually trying it. Just remember, every coin has two sides to it. It will become what you make it to be.

Having your own space is important. Having something just for yourself is definitely something we all should have. It doesn’t have to be something you can hold or touch. It can be anything you want it to be. Something I do cherish is to just have my own “head space”. Time dedicated just for my self and my own thoughts. I find that it is something I require to have. It’s not optional for me, I just have way too much happening around me that I feel I want to think about. Not necessarily even conscious thought.

Spending even just a few moments on quiet contemplation, or drifting away while reading a book or listening to music are moments I cherish, as they are spontaneous. Anything may pop up in the back of my head as I drift away from reality.

However, this is not the only kind of “space” I need. I also like to be completely and utterly alone at home sometimes. Might not even be at home! Could just be a walk somewhere. Especially enjoy walking into a thick forest and just listen to what is happening around me. Enjoying all the sensations one get when you’re in a deep forest all alone. It is a liberating experience. Some people love a walk along the sea, I love the trees and the wildlife that inhabits it

If you’re in a relationship, you also need “space” from the spouse, kids, etc. Seriously, getting a bit of time for yourself is great. Not only can you focus on yourself for a while, it also makes everyone realise what is so important about the others in a family or relationship. Just because your with someone doesn’t mean you have to spend every wake (or asleep!) moment with your counterpart!

Being apart also creates space for time to spend together and enjoying that time even more! Being apart can be a great way to be together!

Just because you miss someone, that doesn’t have to mean you must see them right away. Leaving it for a while means seeing the one you want to be with that little bit sweeter. It also allows you to be free on your own, on your terms.

It also means that when you are together, both does things for each other. But things they want to do for the other part. Not doing things because they are asked for, or expected, but because one wants to do something for the other. What that thing is, well, that is a different matter. It can be anything, from just going to dinner in your partners favourite restaurant, taking them out to a venue to see something together, or anything else you may want to give your partner or family member.

But taking that space is the crucial part here. It allows you to separate yourselves from each other, while at the same time building on that special thing shared between you. One might say this goes back to my topic on duality. All things are connected somehow, some way. When you get that space for yourself, you have a much better chance to figure out what exactly is connecting you to those you love and hold dear.

So, do take your space. Take some time for yourself. Enjoy it, just for you. Allow yourself that freedom. It is a freedom that is exceptional and valuable. If you haven’t done this yet, give it a try! Be without your significant other for a week and see how you get on. Did it go well? What did you learn about yourself and what did you figure out about those you cherish? Does it change anything for you? Have you found more things you value? How do you value them? What is good and what is bad? Are you getting the things out of life that you truly want? If not, what can you do about getting closer to that goal?

So many questions that only you can answer for yourself does require this space.

Then, when you have had your space, you can so much better share that space with those you want to share it with. Understanding so much better what you wish to gain from it, and what you are willing to sacrifice of yourself. Yes, sacrifice of yourself. Every relationship holds an amount of self-sacrifice. Most people call it “compromise”. A compromise always holds a certain amount of sacrifice, from both sides.

So, get that space for you. It is a great way to open new doors to new experiences in your life. It is also a great way to close doors that need to be closed. In your own space, you can also let go of things that hold you back, drag you down or even imprison you. Get that space and experience that freedom.

I’ve not been writing for some time now. Honestly, I’ve kept silly busy over the last couple of weeks. Good kind of busy mind you. Lots of work with the day job, clinic sees clients coming in at a higher rate each week, my martial arts training and trying to find some me time in between it all. It’s an exciting juggling exercise that I find I do enjoy.

I’ve always been a lazy sort of guy, so finding I enjoy this pressure and amount of work surprises me somewhat. Finding I do enjoy fixing things in the house, the way I like to have them, is also a slight surprise. Going through a lot of stuff here at the moment and finding that it is not only easy to do all of this work (not just the house) but I also have found an enjoyment in it all I haven’t had in a very long time.

So, apologies to all, I’ve just been taking time for me recently. Time I well needed and felt I deserved.

I guess the biggest enjoyment has been in keeping going, moving to a brighter future and the smiles it has brought. Three key ingredients.

It has been great finding all the smiles and laughs along the way, the buzz from helping a client, making progress on the projects at work, seeing my fitness level coming up at training, noticing progress with everything, really, that I have focused on recently has been absolutely fantastic.

Now, as to this blog, it will find competition over the next few weeks with another website that is also launching soon. A friend is starting something, what exactly will be revealed soon to those who not already know. I will however make some time to write things here too. It means I’ll have presence on 3 blogs, a couple of forums I will moderate etc. so getting even more busy! All in a good way too and I’m looking forward to it!

Keep going and keep smiling folks!

Wow. I’ve spent a couple of days now investigating how I can use organic search for my clinics website along with potentially using AdWords to help generating traffic.

I pity the poor fool starting their own small business trying to get this around their heads, unless they have prior IT experience. Yes, it all makes sense, technically. However, if you’re a hair salon or something like that and want to get more clients through your website, you’re likely going to hire in someone to do the work for you. This is truly where it gets messy, possibly more expensive than you thought and in worst cases your site may get hijacked. Seeing as I have some IT knowledge I figured I’d see if I can’t get my clinics website to be more prominently shown, without using ads, if possible. Plus, it’d mean my wallet won’t be impacted either.

Sure, it’ll probably take me slightly longer, but that is also just fine. So, I’m devising a slightly different approach than what I have seen any other alternative medicine website using so far, without being annoying to users. Actually, it may make it even easier for people to find topics they are interested in. The exact workings of this is quite simple, so I will not even spell them out here. You’ll figure it out if you look closely enough …

Let’s see how this experiment pans out.

Excellent, the new website for the Break Free Hypnosis clinic is up and running! For those of you who haven’t yet seen it, head on over to http://breakfree.ie and do let me know if you think there’s is anything you feel is missing, could be done better or anything else you can think of.

The initial response has been truly amazing and I am somewhat humbled by the experience. It does give me great hopes for the future, not just the reception from all of you, but also getting a few client bookings within the first 24 hours of opening, one treated within that time period!

It seems like this year not only has some great new beginnings on offer, but also lots of other fun and interesting things.

//anders

A New Year has passed and people are starting to try and get back into things after a first work week. All these sad faces. But, tell you what, the year has only started. Don’t discount it just yet, just because you don’t like to do what you need to do. I know, I know, staying in bed in the morning is nice, but it sure won’t pay the bills!

Here’s the nice thing about it. It can only get better, right? What’s the point in feeling sad? Why don’t you start something right now? Something you always wanted to do? Or set something in motion, to get to do that thing you always wanted to do? Get yourself something to look forward to at the end of the day. Start planning that trip to Bali. Start saving the money you’ll need for it. Look up that new bike you want to get. What’s the point in being miserable? Life’s to bloody short to be miserable. Ain’t that right, Mr. Grumpy?

And smile.

Whatever you do, smile.

Me? I’ll be back training next week, sod the aching knees. Sure, I’ll take it easy (promise, only one shiner per session, alright?). To me, it’s a really positive thing, looking forward to getting on the mats again. Me knees have been aching for the last several months, haven’t been able to train very much, but I’ve been smiling the whole way through it and I keep looking forward to get back doing it all again. That’s what’s keeping me happy, and I don’t mean that in a way that says “it’s all keeping me happy”, because that isn’t true either. But it is one major thing for me.

I hope you have something like that in your life. Something other than either your work or even your family, that keeps you happy. Something just for you. Let’s face it, we all need something we can call our own. Something we do once in a while, just for ourselves. Something that makes us smile out of pure joy.

So, why not keep smiling for the rest of the year? Might make you remember it as one of the best years you’ve had, and only you can make it that great.

Smile.

The End of 2010 that is. It’s been some year too!

It all started in January. Myself and the missus were going to head off for a vacation in Austria, going skiing. Anticipiation has, as usual, built up and we’re itching to go! Waking up in the morning, thinking, it’s a tad chilly in here, isn’t it? Yep, 14 Celsius when we usually have no less than 18 when we wake up. Hmm, what’s up here? Hop in the clothes and walk downstairs to check if the schedule had been screwed up on the timer or what .. No, schedule is fine. We’ve got gas in the cooker (the house heating is also gas, both getting delivered through the same pipes) so that isn’t the problem. Pop on out on the balcony.. Cold.. Right, it’s -10 Celsius out .. Should have put on something more than a t-shirt! Ah well, now that I’m here anyway … Opening the door to where the boiler is and …. Yup … It has developed a sudden bout of ice-in-the-pipes and burst … Feck!

We have 2 hours left until we have to be at the airport! Luckily we found a plumber who could come out and replace our boiler, but not until the next day! Crap! Ah well, we have his number, so let’s just give him the keys to the house and pray it won’t be emptied when we get back. Thankfully, he was not just an honest fella, he was fine with waiting for payment until we got back too… All €2500 worth …

Our vacation was great though. We had a blast in the slopes and Nush was loving getting on a snowboard.

Once back I was on track to start changing my life. At the time I was working for Amazon, you know “the book people” .. Must say, I enjoyed working there, but at the same time, it was time to move on. I had at this point realized it’s not just Amazon I want to move away from, but it is the IT work as well. I was starting to get miserable to be honest. I had looked around for other things to do with my life and trying to figure out what I’d be happy doing, while it could still pay the bills. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always enjoy computers and what one can do with them, but I have realized that a hobby that I turned into a career has started to lose its lustre. You know, the very thing that makes it fun and interesting isn’t quite there any longer. Too much work and not enough play I guess is one way to sum it all up.

I’ve always enjoyed talking with people. Just having a chat, seeing how they are, you know? One thing I got to hear a lot in Amazon was that I was talking too much. Hey, it’s who I am. Having a quiet office with nobody to talk to, for me, makes the day very boring, dull and drags it out. So, talking to people was a must for anything I’d take on.

I also realized that I do take a lot of enjoyment out of helping others. I sometimes even go out of my way to help others. Sometimes even way too much out of my way. But, hey, it’s me. I like doing that, so helping others was another must to be in there. But what the heck should I do then? Didn’t really fancy looking at becoming a doctor or anything like that. I’m not one to sit in school and study. I tend to enjoy a quicker pace than most others, so sitting in school has always been way too boring for me. (I did 3 terms worth of maths in 1 term at one stage, because I was bored …)

Alternative medicine however has always seemed interesting to me. So, I started looking at what is happening in that area. You’ve got your Homeopaths, your Acupuncturists, Massage Therapists, Chiropractors and so on .. None of those felt to be something for me … But then .. I stumbled upon something …

Hypnotherapy. But, what the heck is it? You hypnotize someone and then what? Well, I decided I should look closer. It seemed very interesting, lots of different things you could help people with. The whole concept started mesmerizing me. (Funny that!)

So, I went for an introductory course. I was hooked after the first day. Amazing, absolutely amazing. So, I went and took the full course as well and I’m now RC Hyp, Dip Hyp (or in English: Registered and Certified Hypnotherapist, Diploma Hypnotherapist).

In between starting my course and finishing it, I decided I needed to move along with the rest of my life as well and resigned from Amazon. I needed some change of scenery. So I started working for an Investment Bank down in the IFSC (International Financial district in Dublin). Well, not much to say there other than I decided to not continue the whole probation period. SIG and myself went separate ways after 5 months.

Good news there is, more vacation time was had! While I had just quit from Amazon, we decided to go on another ski trip, this time to Arinsal in Andorra. Very nice spot!

Was also over in Sweden over the summer to see my dad and the kids. As always, way too short a stay.

Once I got my Diploma in Hypnotherapy I started looking around to see how I can get my own clinic up and running. Seemingly, this is quite easy here in Ireland. Setting up a clinic that is. It’s getting the clients that’s the crux of the matter. Most clients one would get is through referrals, and how do you get referrals? By treating someone. So, friends and colleagues have been in and the odd client has started popping in. It’s a slow trickle, but it’s getting there.

While the clinic is slowly spinning up I have started working at a company called National Instruments. It’s a really nice company with offices all over the world. Sure, I am still in IT, but I am now working for a company who puts their employees at the forefront. Couldn’t be happier.

First thing they asked as I started was if I could go to the US for two weeks. Of course I can! Excellent! Two weeks in Austin Texas, just as the snow had started coming down over Dublin! -10 Celsius here in Dublin while I enjoyed 24 Celsius in Texas.

I got to meet the team over there, got a much better understanding of the environment, had storage training and squeezed in as many meetings as I could.

Not to mention, I got a chance to train while I was over there as well! Brilliant! So I not only made some new friends at work, I made some new friends outside of work as well.

I’ve learn’t a lot this year. Not just by getting my Diploma, but also about myself, about Martial Arts and so many other things it’s almost scary to sit here and reminisce.

Now, there’s only a few days left of this year. So few one could just count the hours if one wanted. But why sit here and reminisce over what is ending? As with anything else in life, your perceptions will constantly guide you. Instead, look forward to the new beginnings that are about to form. Most people see the New Year as a new start. A way to kick start things. A start for that thing that you really should do. Quit smoking for example. Or perhaps you’re looking to start exercising more? Perhaps a new job is waiting for you? A New Year holds many promises for the future.

But, here’s the kicker … Why don’t you make every day just like that? I found new beginnings several times over the last year. All weren’t good, but some will stay with me for a very long time.

Here’s to new beginnings! Cheers folks!

One thing that people usually forget is that everything you have learnt and will learn in life can be applied not just to the subject matter in which is was learnt, but in any other subject matter you encounter in life. You can learn something about cars and use that same principle in lots of other areas too, if you just listen to the lesson and grasp the principle behind it.

As you probably know, I train in a Martial Art. How can principles learnt while fighting someone be applied to anything else in life? It’s quite simple really. All you really need is a little bit of imagination. I will here touch on three completely different subject areas, but I will take one principle and apply it appropriately to each area. Let’s pick a lesson from Martial Arts, then apply some imagination and then I’ll let you use your own imagination as we take that same lesson into something every human thinks about, sex.

Yes, you read that right! I’m sure you’re now thinking that this will end up being some sado-masocisthic blog post, right? Not at all. Quite on the contrary actually! The subject areas could really be anything, but this may show you some contrasts and commonalities and how your own imagination can transform your life.

When you start training in a Martial Art, you’ll be shown basics and you’ll likely be told that the basics are the most important techniques you’ll learn. Practice your basics and higher level techniques will then also become better. I can tell, your imagination is already skipping forward. So, hang in there and we’ll get to that in a moment.

So, let’s use our imagination a bit and consider the above fact. If you really think of it, the above statement holds true in anything you want to get better in. It could be some topic at work, some sport you train or compete in, even cooking. Take each component in whatever subject matter you wish and you will see that if you can get the basics right and improve your skills the end result will also be so much better, right?

Take this into the context of being with your partner then. Remember your first kiss? It was probably shit if you think of it objectively. But through the years, hopefully, you get more chances to practice that technique and eventually your skills in kissing someone improves. Should you stop trying to get better? Nah, why should you? That’s no fun right?

Next thing that your Martial Arts instructor will probably tell you a lot is to slow it down. This is so you can more easily see, feel and understand what the technique itself has to teach you. You’ll find openings in yourself where you are vulnerable, openings in your opponent where you can strike, weird or interesting angles that changes what opportunities you have or not have. It’ll show you at what points you’re doing something right, but more importantly where you are doing something wrong.

Using your imagination next, let’s consider something that a lot of people do. At a certain age you can start driving a car. You’ll be driving in lots of different road conditions and weather conditions. On a dry road it is very easy to keep high speeds and still be in control. Driving fast is not necessarily a mark on you being a good driver. As adverse weather rolls in controlling the car safely becomes harder as it may lose traction a lot sooner and easier. Roads that has water on them are not as safe as a dry road. Roads with icy spots are yet again not as safe as a wet road. Roads with thick ice and a bit of snow on top is less safe again. The key then to drive safely is not to be driving fast, but to drive at a speed where you can safely control your vehicle. Look at Ireland recently. Slow down and you’ll much sooner notice when the road becomes unsafe or when the car is starting to lose traction. If you slow down, you can then control the car and take yourself out of a potentially lethal situation. Driving fast will more than likely get you injured or killed.

Now, if we take this into the realm of sex, I’m sure you can already see direct correlations here. Lads, how many times have you had a woman tell you to slow it down and not just jump in there? Again, slowing things down will make it much easier for you to figure out what makes your partner tick, sigh, squirm and enjoy what you’re doing.

Everyone that starts in a Martial Art will at some stage be told to relax. In the dojo you will find someone that is very rigid and really goes at it with lots of force and strength. Also known as “being martial”. Doing this will probably hold you back eventually and eventually you’ll not progress and get any better at what you do. Your techniques may look good, but you may find yourself getting beaten when ending up sparring or worst case on the streets in a real fight.

Let’s consider a punch, aimed at your belly. Your natural reaction is to tense up as you receive the punch and more than likely you’ll get winded. All because you’re tensing up, you lock up your entire body. Once the air rushes out of your lungs, that fight is over. If you instead relax your abdomen a bit you can absorb a lot of the force and thereby not get winded. As you haven’t locked up your body you can also move out of the way to a much safer position, leading to you staying in the fight or surviving a potentially lethal situation.

Again, taking this into the context of sex, what can you learn here? Well, if you tense up you’re also losing control of your body in this situation as well! It becomes harder to breathe for example. If you relax, you could enjoy the moment for longer and thereby have more stamina and definitely a much nicer experience.

Another thing that is said to us in the dojo is that soke never does the same technique twice. Soke is the japanese word for Grand Master. He is the person who decides what direction the Martial Art is taking and so on. He is therefore a very important person in any Martial Art. But why doesn’t he do the same technique twice? Well, no two situations are the same. Not even if you practice the same technique over and over again. Each time a strike or kick is making its way towards you, there will always be slight differences. Learning to use those differences to ones advantage is a key factor. If you end up on the street in a fight and you expect your opponent to behave in some specific pattern, you’ll end up on the ground bleeding. No person reacts exactly the same as any other person. Not even if the same thing happens twice in a row as they have learnt something from the first time it happened to them.

Let’s consider something that Einstein once said: “The height of insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different outcome.” He mean this in the context of science and expecting different test results from the same tests. Science is very absolute in this regard, but so is expectations, which is a very relative term. In order for you to get a different test result, you have to change the test in some way. Could be simply slightly different mix of ingredients or perhaps adding or removing some component. What is important to understand here is that the second time you do the same thing, the result is already known and can be expected to be just what it was the first time. You should expect this, because others will expect this as well. Something needs to change for it to be different.

Again, this also holds true when it comes to sex. Keep on doing the same thing over and over again become boring. Really boring. Eventually you may even have a schedule when you’ll have sex. Does this sound like fun? Does this sound like something you’ll want to have for the rest of your life? Nah, not only change what you do, but when, how and where. You’ll have lots more fun that way, right?

So, to those of you training in Martial Arts, what other lessons and principles can you apply to your daily life that you learn in the dojo? What lessons from your every day life can you apply to Martial Arts?

Those of you not training Martial Arts, what lessons have you learnt at work that you can use at home?

To all of you, remember this, your imagination is the most powerful force you have at your disposal. You can imagine anything you want and if you work towards that imagined goal, eventually you’ll get there, and as I showed above, there might be some fun along the way too!

Never forget, everything you have learnt so far you can use any way you see fit. All you need to do is being open to new ideas. Both your own and others.

Hopefully this learnt you something, but more importantly I hope this may open new doors in your life and shine a light on that something you want to have improved and given you some ideas on what you can do to get it resolved.

You want to be successful in what you do? You want to “be the best”? You want to have all your dreams come true? Most people tend to answer yes to these questions.

Are you willing to do what it takes to achieve those goals? Are you willing to put in the effort required to get there? Again, most people say yes here too. Only one problem, people generally do not realise the effort they may have to go through and how hard that road might become.

If you take a look at those that are really successful in what they do, no matter what it is they do, you’ll find a few select things they all have in common. First and foremost is the fact that they just never quit, never give up, no matter what they are faced with. They get knocked on the head and fall down, they’ll be right up on their feet again, getting back in there again, again and again.

I’ve heard a couple of quotes which fit very well in here, and I’ll also add a video, which actually is the reason I’m posting this in the first place. Take these quotes and remember them, saying them to yourself when you’re starting to falter. Because you will falter. We all do at some stage.

“There is no failure, only feedback.” – Milton H Erickson

“It’s not how many time you fall down, it’s how many times you get back up again.” – Unknown, references appreciated!
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” ~Japanese Proverb

“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender [...]” – Winston Churchill [Full speech]

“Do it with a smile!” – Sensei (you know who you are, Domo arigato)

Now, here’s the video.